


... no, the boar.

by androgenius



Category: Fire Emblem: Fuukasetsugetsu | Fire Emblem: Three Houses
Genre: Anal Fingering, Anal Sex, Duelling, First Kiss, First Time, M/M, Massive Royal Cock, Pining, Pre-Timeskip | Academy Phase (Fire Emblem: Three Houses)
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-05-25
Updated: 2020-05-25
Packaged: 2021-03-02 21:21:40
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 5,370
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24363481
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/androgenius/pseuds/androgenius
Summary: Following his slip-up at the Arts Festival, Felix finds himself unable to get his once-best friend out of his mind. Hoping that the events of the White Heron Cup Entrance Ceremony might serve to quiet his desires, he throws himself headfirst into his duel with the boar...... not anticipating that all it would serve to do is make things decidedly worse.
Relationships: Dimitri Alexandre Blaiddyd/Felix Hugo Fraldarius
Comments: 5
Kudos: 141
Collections: Dimilix Remix 2020





	... no, the boar.

**Author's Note:**

> Much like most people who ship Dimilix, I lost my mind after reading Slip's translation of the [FE3H Expo Stage Drama](https://twitter.com/slip_fe3h/status/1257646209939865600). Needless to say, the desire to write fic to go along with this extraordinary gift we were given was _already_ overabundant to start, and so when Maru drew her comic to go along with it... well. It had to happen. 
> 
> A remix of [marureenu's](https://twitter.com/marureenu/) absolutely incredible FE3H Expo Drama follow-up [comic](https://twitter.com/marureenu/status/1258512888609697792?s=20). I only hope I managed to do her masterwork justice!!

It's been one week of torment. 

One week since the Arts Festival meeting to discuss the curtain-raiser meant to precede the White Heron Cup. One week of feeling eyes on him wherever he goes, Felix convinced that every hidden whisper and giggle in his general vicinity must be about him. 

He has yet to forgive his slip-up. 

What was he thinking, blurting out his desires like that? 

Not that it wasn't the truth. 

Of course he'd want to spar with Dimitri, of all people. He's always been by far the most talented sparring partner in all of Garreg Mach, and while some alternative options obviously cropped up over his time here, they were nevertheless replacements. Not always poor ones, but replacements all the same. Pale imitations, even when it was the professor--

 _The boar._ Not _Dimitri._

(After all, Dimitri-- his former best friend, the person most important to him in the world-- no longer exists. He died in Duscur.

Or maybe he never existed in the first place.)

It's bad enough, making such a pathetic mistake in his own head. But for it to happen in front of _other people--_

It must have thrown him off his rhythm, that little blunder. It's the only real explanation he feels comfortable with. 

(How badly has he been missing him?)

It can't happen again. 

If it happens again, if it happens in front of Dimitri--

 _The boar_.

Cursing himself, Felix changes course. He needs to clear his head the way only training can accomplish. 

Well-- no. That's a falsehood he's tried to convince himself of, that the best solution to these sorts of mental blocks is training. 

Sparring with Dimitri…

He thinks he'd do just about anything to have that back.

(Does Dimitri think of him in this way? Does he miss their bouts against each other? Does he regret what he turned into?

If he could put down the rebellion again, would he choose differently this time?)

Eyeing the new blade in his hands, he steels himself. It would be a waste not to test it out with the one most worthy of sparring with him. Not the professor, not Leonie, not anyone else but Dimitri. 

The… boar. 

&

The conversation, like countless others with the boar, does not go the way he'd hoped it would have.

Somehow, Dimitri always manages to piss him off, enough so that he cannot justify staying to spar with him any longer. Let him touch the blade? The boar, who breaks everything in his hands? He must be mad. 

More than that, it's insulting.

Where does he get off, acting as though nothing is different, as though nothing has changed? As though he doesn't spend every night tossing and turning with the regrets of who he became, who he _is_ , a liar and a thief who stole Felix's best friend from him when he needed him most. 

(Is he the only one who misses it?)

The one duel he allows himself to ask for from him per week, and Dimitri had to go and ruin it. 

… the boar, that is.

&

His solo training feels hollow that day, and the day after. 

&

The Entrance Ceremony ends up being his saving grace. Something to look forward to. A time he gets to spar with Dimitri in earnest.

The audience doesn't matter. The only thing that matters is the kiss and clash of sword and lance. At least-- he knows this to be true for himself.

A part of him had been concerned that Dimitri, artificial and fake as he is in his… everything, wouldn't be able to spar properly with the eyes of so many on him, but he needn't have worried. 

Once the actual bout begins, it's just as it has always been, the rest of the world seeming to fade away around them. Well-practiced steps, deliberate and focused, lead their dance, Felix feeling more alive in the fifteen minutes it takes for Dimitri to pin him than he has in what feels like months. 

He's so close in those last moments (close enough to kiss) that Felix forgets to be disappointed about losing the match. Even after the duel is officially concluded, the winner announced, and the audience dispersed, the feeling lingers. 

He feels… unbalanced. Borderline unhinged. 

"The duel was a fine idea for the White Heron Cup entrance ceremony, Felix. I quite enjoyed our match."

Unhinged. That's the only word for it, isn't it? 

Otherwise he would have stopped himself from reaching forward.

From grabbing the boar by his shirt.

From pulling him in close.

(Closer than they were when he landed his victory.)

"Di--"

His hand has ended up on his thigh, he realizes vaguely. A dreadful attempt at balance where there is none-- in his body or his mind. 

Felix pushes him back. Forces it. (Anything to put some distance between the two of them.)

The air feels electric.

He was… so close.

It wouldn't have been a slip-up, that time.

"... boar."

He would have deserved it, maybe. To hear Felix say his name again, just one more time. 

(Even if a part of him wonders if he'd be able to stop, once he started again. Dimitri. Dimitri. His tongue misses the taste of his name.)

Felix has been so cruel to him.

"You disgust me," he hears himself say, as if it's a sickness, a disease of his tongue he simply can't shake. Everything gets twisted. _Dimitri_ becomes _boar, beast,_ and _bloodthirsty animal._ _I miss you_ becomes _get out of my sight_. _I love you_ becomes _you disgust me._

Is that-- right? Does he love Dimitri?

The thought runs through him like a shudder. 

His hand is still balled into the front of Dimitri's shirt. The-- the boar's shirt. The realization comes coupled with a fresh wave of disgust, though more at himself than at Dimitri.

He pushes him back once more just for good measure. 

Resolute. With purpose.

His cheeks are tinged pink, he knows. He also knows that he does not have the courage to look up at Dimitri.

At… the boar. 

Would he look disgusted? Indifferent? Or would his own longing be reflected back at him? A mirror as much as an invitation. 

Felix isn't sure what would be more terrifying.

So he lets go of the boar, scoffs in disgust, and strides out of the room without daring to glance back. 

&

He's wanted to get away from the _festivities_ anyway. It matters little that it happened a bit earlier than expected; after all, he had been by far the loudest advocate for not putting on the varying White Heron events in the first place.

All in all, he should be grateful for the peace and quiet. And yet--

His room feels cavernous after he shuts the door behind him. Like there's something missing.

As though something hasn't been missing from it from the very start. 

Almost on cue, his gaze jumps to the wall dividing his and Dimitri's room. A curse, that wall. It's as if they wished to keep him as close to the boar as possible, just as any Fraldarius ought to be to their king. 

He fucked up.

Pinching his temples between two fingers, Felix allows himself to sink down the length of the door. 

What was he thinking? Pulling the boar close like that--

What must _Dimitri_ be thinking? 

If he was cruel before, he's not sure what this qualifies as. A new level of cruelty? Not that Dimitri-- _wanted_ this. Wanted _him_. And even if he did--

Felix isn't offering him anything. Nothing but gray area and question marks meant to leave them in perpetual, eternal limbo. As though he doesn't even deserve the serenity in knowing where he stands. 

It must be a maddening place, Dimitri's mind, made no better by Felix's very existence. 

(As if he needed it to be more difficult.)

He fucked up. He shouldn't have tried to offer him anything, shouldn't have _attempted_ \--

The knock on the door is soft, wary. As though it doesn't know whether it deserves to exist in the first place. 

&

On the other side of the door, Dimitri holds his breath, hand having flattened itself against the wood of the heavy oak door. 

"It's, ah-- it's me." A beat. "Dimitri." 

It's impossible not to cringe, Dimitri wincing at his own idiocy. 

"I know who you are, boar." The end of his sentence is punctuated by a soft thunk against the door, as though-- as though he'd allowed his head to fall back against it. 

Is he-- right on the other side of it? 

Dimitri feels himself sink down into a crouch, his hand remaining against the wood. If he really is as close as he thinks-- there would just be a few inches between them now. 

"Felix--" His voice wavers. He doesn't even know what he's here to say. All he really knows is that-- that he couldn't just allow Felix to run from him. 

A truly ridiculous notion. Felix is his own person, allowed to make his own decisions. He can run for Dimitri all he wants. 

He just-- has so many questions. 

Felix hasn't used his name in… years. And while he didn't use it this time, either, Dimitri thinks that he might have come close. 

Close… 

He was, wasn't he? Closer than he's been in ages, also. Close enough to--

How presumptuous of him. He'd seemed upset, not longing for the return to a friendship once treasured.

"Go away. I have no desire to speak with you."

"Can-- can't we talk about this?"

Instead of responding to him, Felix starts drumming his head back against the door. 

Did he… say something wrong?

"There's nothing to talk about," comes Felix's stilted reply through the wood between them.

"Felix, I beg of you. You-- earlier-- I never allowed myself to hope before, but--" He's not even sure what he's hoping for. Just that-- it's there. Like a small bird in his chest, just barely learning to sing again after years of silence. 

"You sound way too close; are you sitting on the fucking floor?" Felix asks him, Dimitri feeling his cheeks color.

"... yes."

"Ridiculous. Are there people around you?"

"I do believe they are still engaged with the activities surrounding the White Heron Cup Entrance Ceremony."

A scoff. "Fine. Get in here before that changes and someone sees you. I don't need anyone associating me with you."

The door opens sooner than he'd anticipated, Dimitri straightening somewhat sheepishly. "Apologies," he mutters, stepping inside for Felix to close the door behind him. The room, silent and dark, feels heavy with unspoken truths.

"Well," Felix's voice cuts through the quiet, arms crossed in front of his chest, "I do believe you were begging me for something?"

Dimitri blinks. He… he did say that, didn't he? That he wished to talk-- begged him for it, even. Shifting from one foot to another, his gaze finds the floor.

"Ah." A decent start. At least he's remembered that his mouth works. Now if only he could figure out what it is that he wished to say. "Do you…" No, that's not right, either. He clears his throat. "Felix," he starts slowly, hoping that third time's the charm, "I have been… attempting to make sense of your behavior earlier, and have found myself coming up short. I… would pray that you might see it in you to enlighten me."

He only barely catches Felix's eyeroll. 

"There's nothing to make sense of."

Is Felix… blushing?

The darkness provides an unwelcome veil over his face, Dimitri drawn to him as if by an invisible string. 

How silly of him. 

Felix doesn't want him near. 

As if hearing Dimitri's thoughts, Felix takes two harried steps back.

"B-boar," he croaks out, _warns,_ and Dimitri cannot stop himself from following into the darkness. The soft moonlight filtering in through the window doesn't reach them here, and yet… he can still make out his blush, the same red on his cheeks as from before. 

"Say it," he hears himself whisper. "You were so close before-- what stopped you?"

The chair jostles as Felix hits the desk behind him, his hand shooting out to stop Dimitri's approach, but-- it's a lackluster effort at best, and his heart doesn't really seem to be in it. Turning his gaze to face the wall, the hand drops to his side. 

"Are you truly so terrified to say my name? What on earth is stopping you?"

"I'd hate to mistake you for _my_ Dimitri Alexandre Blaiddyd, a friend I once had that tragically died in Duscur alongside my brother."

"That hardly stopped you before."

"That's--" The color on his cheeks deepens, cutting through the darkness as Dimitri catches sight of his fingers wrapping around the edge of the desk, knuckles white. "I didn't say it for a reason, boar. Saying it would have been a mistake. You disgust me; already running with the idea as though I wrapped it up and handed it to you as a gift."

"I think you did mean it."

Dimitri's words are firm, commanding in ways he hasn't dared be in a long time. There's always _someone_ to offend. 

Most of the time, that person is Felix. 

Without waiting for approval, he places one hand against the hutch. 

"If I'm to believe that you'll never care for me or look at me the same way again, that there is no rewinding time back to before there was this distance between us-- then the least you can do is allow me to hear you say it just one more time."

"I don't owe you anything, you bloodthirsty beast."

"No," Dimitri says, and finds himself smiling despite himself. "That's why this is a request, not an order."

Felix stares at him for a long time after that, his gaze dancing across his features and only occasionally lingering on one or another. It's hard to pinpoint where he wants to be looking--

\-- until Felix kisses him. 

Wait, what?

His lips-- soft and damp and fleeting-- are gone just as soon as they touch on his, and Dimitri finds himself left reeling. 

A hand comes up, first, to touch on his lips. His gaze refocuses only slowly on the man before him. 

"Felix," he whispers, half-awe, half-disbelief. 

"Leave," Felix snaps, his hand pressing against Dimitri's front once more in an attempt to gain distance between them. "Get out before I make you."

The words barely register with him. Instead, his hand finds Felix's on his chest to hold, marveling at it for a long moment. 

"How foolish of me," he mutters, a small smile coming over his features, "to miss all the signs."

"I said that you need to _leave,_ you beast. Are your ears just for show?"

His face is burning. It's a beautiful, tell-tale sight, and Dimitri feels his smile widen. 

Leave it to Felix to attempt to confess in such an obscure, and yet meaningful way. His name. Even if Felix had managed to articulate all of it, he isn't certain that he would have made the connection. Perhaps that would have been worse…?

"Say my name, Felix."

"What?"

"Please."

&

Dimitri is a fool if he thinks Felix so naive and devoid of pride that he wouldn't recognize this for what it is: an attempt at making him look the fool in his stead. 

He can accept a rejection. Dimitri didn't kiss him back, and that's fine. He was an idiot to hope regardless. 

But to linger after, as if _enjoying_ Felix's torment? 

"I knew you were a wretched, vile creature, but I never before thought you _this_ cruel."

"All this over a name? I have to question what is causing you such torment. Ah, but I suppose you always did have trouble expressing your true feelings."

"What are you talking about?"

Dimitri's hand finds his cheek, Felix flinching only to find himself with nowhere left to go. He's already been backed into a corner by the boar, no escape. Hasn't he humiliated him enough? What more could he possibly want from him?

His hand is warm, the thumb tracing the path of his cheekbone soft. Too soft-- it borders on indulgent. And yet... Felix finds it harder than he expected to pull away, twist his body however necessary in order to escape his touch. 

"Forgive me if I have misinterpreted your actions. If I am overstepping my bounds, tell me so and I will cease my actions at once."

"Quit y--"

Felix doesn't get to finish his thought, not when Dimitri leans in to kiss him.

Dimitri is _kissing him._

Felix feels his arms move as if compelled, fingers tangling in the front of his shirt to drag him in closer, refusing to let him go. It's as if his body, his mind, his heart are all convinced-- if he were to release him now, he'd lose the chance to be with Dimitri forever. 

This time, Dimitri responds to him the way he was supposed to, clumsy fingers running into his hair until Felix is forced to reach back and let it out of its bun. 

He needs… _more._

Dimitri's shirt had been maddening before-- just that bit of exposed skin teasing him, as though begging to be undressed the rest of the way-- but now it's a pointless obstruction, Felix disentangling his fingers from the fabric to start unbuttoning in a seeming frenzy. 

It's Dimitri who breaks their kiss this time, and Felix feels all his walls go back up in an instant. If he rejects him now, turns him away--

"Felix, are you-- are you quite certain? I do not wish to rush this--"

"Do you take me for a fool? If I let you go out that door now, you'll overthink this to death before changing your mind." He's such a liar, he thinks, Felix feeling his stomach twisting at his own words. All he's doing is projecting. And yet-- he refuses to expose his fears like this. The boar has no right to see him yet more vulnerable than he already has. Not when he's offered nothing in return. "This happens now or it doesn't happen at all."

"Felix," Dimitri starts slowly, his voice too soft, too considerate. His hand is on his cheek again, Felix feeling himself burning beneath it as he turns his gaze aside. "I don't know how you've convinced yourself of the fact that I could never care for you in return, but you--" A chuckle. "Felix, how could I not? If anything, I should thank you for opening my eyes. Without your daring to show me how you felt, I would have never realized it myself."

"I don't need your lip service, boar. I've had enough of your pretense and false promises. If you truly care, you can show me with your actions, not your words."

"I would like nothing more," Dimitri says, a soft laugh escaping him before he reclaims Felix's lips once more, his hand reaching to bring Felix's up to the top button of his shirt. 

_Oh._

Much as he wishes he could just tear them off, Felix resolves to do this right, taking his time to undo each button before finding himself at the waistband of his pants. His belt first, and then-- 

" _Felix,_ " Dimitri gasps against his lips, his hips rutting forward as Felix's knuckles graze the front of his crotch. 

He's… hard? 

Grabbing him by his lapels, Felix drags him into another searing kiss, his hand sliding beneath the waistband of his breeches to wrap his hand around his length. 

Everyone always talks about how attractive he would be if only he didn't have such a mouth on him, how absurdly _beautiful_ he is, but from Felix's perspective, it's Dimitri who's the beautiful one, from the nervous tremor in his fingers as he reaches for to undo his the front closure of his pants, all the way down to the reverence in his voice, the way his name sounds like a prayer on Dimitri's tongue. 

He's half-relief, half-impatience by the time he feels Dimitri free his straining cock from the fabric confines of his trousers, a shuddered gasp leaving him as he finds himself forced to break from their kiss. "What are you waiting for, boar," he exhales, allowing his forehead to rest against Dimitri's clavicle. 

What he doesn't expect is for Dimitri to take both of them in hand, stroking them both in tandem only for Felix to find himself jerking forward and begging for more. 

_Shameful._

"Take me to bed already," he grinds out, self-control wavering as it is. "I'm not settling for your hand after the runaround you gave me."

"Forgive me, Felix." 

He can hear the smile in Dimitri's voice as he lets go of them to lift him up by his thighs instead, carrying him over to his bed as requested. The second his head hits the pillow, Dimitri is kissing him again, Felix taking that moment to wrap his legs around his waist. He needs more _still,_ both of them far too dressed for where he wants them to be. 

Dimitri's lips leave his only to kiss a trail over his jaw and down his neck, nipping at the skin as Felix's fingers tangle in blond hair. 

"Are you or aren't you going to help me out of these clothes?"

"Goodness, Felix; I don't recall you being this impatient before. I wonder what other things I have yet to learn about you."

If Felix is as red as he knows himself to be, Dimitri isn't commenting on it. He supposes he ought to be grateful, but it's hard to focus on anything when Dimitri sits back on his haunches to pull his shirt off and tug his pants down, all well-defined lines and muscles. His very _body_ is a tease in and of itself, Felix feeling his cock twitch at the display before him. 

At least-- until he gets to watch Dimitri take the time to meticulously fold each and every piece of clothing.

" _Boar,_ " he growls, sitting up on his elbows. "I'll fuck _myself_ if you don't remember where your priorities ought to be."

"Impatient," Dimitri repeats, leaning in to steal another kiss from him as his hands find the sides of his waistband to tug down and off of his legs. "You'd prefer me not to fold your clothes?"

" _Boar!_ I'm in no mood to--"

Once more, Dimitri cuts him off, this time with his lips wrapped around the head of his cock, the rest of Felix's words coming out as more of a groan than anything else. A knuckle, dry, teases at his entrance, and Felix bucks his hips up just as the mouth around his length leaves him for Dimitri to wetten two fingers. 

"Stop treating me like porcelain. I can take it." 

"This is hardly a matter deserving levity, Felix. If I am not careful, I could seriously injure you."

He has a point. His size is… considerable, certainly a good bit larger than Felix. But, all the same--

"It's not like I haven't done this before," he says softly, his face burning once more. 

Dimitri looks rather as though he's just been punched. 

"Felix, you cannot mean--!"

"Not with another person, you beast!" he fires back. If it's possible for him to become redder… "On my own, obviously." 

" _Oh._ Oh, I see. Ah--" For just a moment, Dimitri looks dumbfounded as he looks down at him. "Do you have any advice? I'm afraid I cannot say the same. I am entirely lacking in experience myself, you see."

"Obviously," Felix mutters, doing his best to quieten the joy that swells in his chest where jealousy reigned mere moments before. "Just--" 

Reaching behind him to his nightstand drawer, he grabs hold of a small ampule to hand to Dimitri, his features still just as crimson as before. "Here. Use this. First on your fingers, then on that massive cock of yours. I usually use two fingers, but obviously that won't be nearly enough considering the size of you."

Dimitri looks dumbfounded. As though he never once considered his own size, let alone that it might be considerably larger than most. 

"And get on with it!" Felix adds, allowing his head to fall back onto his pillow once more, this time with his arm thrown over his face. This will be embarrassing enough already without Dimitri being able to make out each and every one of his expressions. 

It's a decision he's grateful for when he feels Dimitri wrap his lips around his cock, sink all the way down his length, and start bobbing his head. 

When he feels first one finger, and then two start to press inside of him. 

Then a third. 

"Fuck me with them," Felix grinds out, more than aware of how desperately he's already leaking precum onto Dimitri's tongue. 

He shouldn't have worried, he knows: Dimitri has always been good with directions. This time, he's taking turns scissoring his fingers, pushing them inside of him over and over again until Felix is left nothing more than a quivering, trembling mess.

"C-close," he gasps, fingers tangling in blond hair to pull him back up and off of his cock. He knows Dimitri has barely even gotten started, knows how pathetic this is, but-- it's _Dimitri._ "Fuck, boar-- j-just fuck me already--" 

"Are you certain you're ready? I must reiterate once more-- I do not wish to hurt you."

"We won't know if I'm ready until we try, and while I'm sure you'd be okay with doing nothing _but_ getting me ready, I've waited long enough for this."

"What?" Dimitri asks, stalling in his attempt at positioning himself between his legs. "Felix, how long have I made you wait?"

What a ridiculous question. Anyone with so much as half a brain would be able to tell that it had been the other way around; between the two of them, Felix had been the one who kept Dimitri waiting for him. Refusing to talk to him, only interacting with him through the one duel he'd allowed himself per week-- measured interactions, all carefully curated and culled as necessary. Nothing in excess.

Nothing that would allow him to fall headfirst into loving Dimitri again. 

"It doesn't matter," he says, well over a dozen things going unspoken. Perhaps one day he'll be able to be honest with him. He cannot spend forever littering truths along a path he hopes for Dimitri to follow; cannot expect Dimitri to follow after him without sacrificing something himself. So he decides to offer him something he can spare, something not quite threatening to rend his soul asunder should he receive nothing in return. "It's not so easy for me to stop caring about someone as you seem to think it is."

"Oh, _Felix._ "

"Get on with it, boar," Felix hisses, turning to look at the wall, _anywhere_ but at Dimitri. 

Dimitri doesn't allow it. Instead, he catches Felix's lips in a kiss that's too soft, too gentle, too generous with him by far, and starts pressing inside of him. 

It's almost overwhelming to start; it burns, the stretching more present than he'd expected. He's known all along that the boar is huge, but _this--_

"Felix," Dimitri whispers, smoothing out the grimace between his brows. "Felix, we-- we can stop. We don't have to do this right now." 

Has he been visibly wincing this whole time? Feeling his face heat up again, Felix swallows, hard. "Stop, and I'll cleave you in two."

"There's really no need for threats. If you'd like me to stay, obviously I won't go anywhere."

"I just-- I _just_ need a second." It's an understatement; Felix knows he needs a lot of seconds to adjust to him, not that he'll allow himself the full extent of them. "It's hardly my fault that you have a massive cock."

"I would never fault you for that, Felix," Dimitri says, a soft smile accompanying his words. Charming bastard. 

It's starting to feel… slightly easier, at least, Felix shifting somewhat on his cock. 

"Admittedly, it is... difficult not to go soft when I cannot move."

His exhale, shaky, nevertheless is decisive. "Then _move_ already." 

"Are you quite sure?"

"Boar, if you don't move, I'll kill you."

Dimitri evidently doesn't need to be told twice. Another inch pushes inside of him, then another, and another. It would seem that the head was the worst part, and now that Dimitri is buried inside of him fully, it feels almost… pleasant, being this full. 

"Do you require more time? I can stay still should you need me to."

Wordlessly, he shakes his head. He's sure. "No, I want to feel you. Stop denying me." 

Dimitri laughs before he starts slow, gentle. It's almost too much to take with him this close, forehead pressed against Felix's. And yet, even with his legs wrapped around Dimitri, he somehow doesn't feel close enough. 

"Faster," he breathes, hand wrapping around the back of Dimitri's neck. "And harder-- I'm not going to _break_ , boar--"

Once more, Dimitri listens, and Felix is grateful. Shifting his grip onto his hip-- holding on hard enough that he already knows he'll bruise and be left with proof of tonight-- he draws back his hips and plunges back into Felix in one fell swoop, _hard._

It stings, but it's-- perfect. 

"Well, Felix," he gasps, not letting up even once on his brutal, frenzied pace, "can you say it now?"

For a split second, Felix doesn't know what he's talking about. 

And then it hits him. 

" _Please_ ," he begs, something inside of Felix breaking at the sound. "Please, Felix."

"Di--" He swallows. It shouldn't be this hard. " _Dima_ \--"

Dimitri _shudders_ at the sound, his eyes closing as his hips stutter against him. "Oh, Felix-- I do love you--"

Oh. _Oh_. 

"Forgive me-- I am afraid I won't last," he continues, his hand fumbling between their bodies to wrap around Felix's already leaking cock. It's-- too much, his emotions overwhelming him as he clings onto Dimitri in seeming helplessness. 

"I don't care," he hears himself say, swallowing hard as he tries to blink away the dampness of his eyes. "Didn't I tell you before? Just-- let me feel you."

And he does. Dimitri's hips thrust into him once, twice, three more times before he comes, hard, Felix following shortly after. He's not sure why he felt the need to apologize for not lasting, not when he knows he wouldn't have been any better, when he _wasn't_ any better. Not that his own orgasm matters to him here. It barely even hits him in lieu of his words just moments ago. What Dimitri just said, making him feel this close to him in spite of everything he's done to the boar, to _his_ boar, his prince-- 

It's greater than any physical pleasure he could have been offered. 

"I'm afraid I have made rather a mess; I do apologize, Felix."

"What?" Forcing himself back into the moment, Felix blinks. "You-- it's fine. It's-- I wanted this."

"Yes," Dimitri laughs, all disbelief. "You did."

Dimitri pulls out of him a moment later, and, almost immediately, Felix finds himself missing him, empty. 

"I'll help clean you up, Felix. Do not worry yourself."

He wasn't worried; in truth, it's the last thing on his mind. Even when Dimitri runs a damp rag over his abdomen and between his legs, it's hard to focus on anything but his words. 

Dimitri loves him?

He's speaking to him, but Felix can barely register the words. Except-- that it looks as though he is asking him something. 

"What?"

"Might I stay here with you tonight?" he asks, the words slowly seeping in. 

"I-- yes. Sure." The thought of Dimitri leaving him now, after what they just shared, makes him feel ill. "Do what you want."

"I do wish to stay with you, Felix."

He tries to ignore the warmth that sparks in his gut at that, Felix rolling over onto his side as Dimitri climbs in after him, the covers following. "Where else would I wish to be?" He whispers, pulling his arms around him from behind. 

And, in truth, Felix cannot remember the last time he's felt this safe. 

**Author's Note:**

> Come talk to me on twitter [@androugenius](https://twitter.com/androugenius)!!


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